Woman refuses to keep driving her boss to work after already giving her two 90-minute rides in one day and getting stuck paying the tolls with zero thanks

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  • My boss (48F) messaged me (50F) later in the evening one night stating that her car broke down and asking if I could come and pick her up for work the following morning.
  • AITA for refusing to give my boss rides to work?

    Two women sitting in a car, with the driver looking serious and the passenger holding a phone.
  • My boss lives approximately 80 minutes away from my apartment and 90 minutes away from our job.
  • I had to leave at no later than 6:45 a.m. to get us to work so she could do a staff training at 9 a.m.
  • As I entered the city and was getting close to her apartment, she messaged me asking if I could circle around the block so I could park behind her building so she didn't have to walk far to get to my vehicle.
  • I had to circle the block three times to find a parking space. Fine. We drive the 90 minutes back to work and it's a normal work day.
  • Blonde woman driving a car with a seatbelt on while a passenger sits blurred in the background.
  • In the afternoon at around 4 o'clock she tells me that this is her second car that broke down and she currently has no transportation and that I will HAVE to drive her back to her home that evening.
  • Here's the problem...it took 3/4 tank of gas to get down there and back home twice, I was in the car driving for approximately five hours that day, and I didn't even get so much as a 'thank you' from her.
  • Not only that, but she stuck me with $8 for the tolls without offering to help me out in any way.
  • She makes a ton more money than me! I don't mind helping someone out when help is needed, and I'm generally not a frugal or tight person, but gratitude goes a really long way for me and a thank you is all it would've taken for me to extend the helping hand graciously and humbly.
  • While pumping gas that afternoon (before taking her back home), I asked her directly for the money for the tolls, she simply refused, saying "I don't have any cash on me".
  • Okay, and? I would've gladly accepted cash app, venmo, PayPal, chime, a check, or even a promise to pay it back.
  • Part of me feels irritated because I know that if I needed the same favor and the circumstances were switched, she'd refuse me the help with no explanations added, and has refused me similar help in the past.
  • The other night I was contemplating that for the past several years that I've known her, she's never once thanked me or expressed any gratitude whatsoever when I've stepped up for her to fill in for her when she needed me to, both at work and outside of work.
  • There are so many incidents that I've conducted last minute meetings for her, trainings for staff that was her job to do, managed all her documents while she was on vacation or sick and with not one ounce of gratitude from her.
  • Almost as if it was EXPECTED from me. I'm not keeping score or anything, but things seem to always be very one- sided Part of me feels really selfish though for writing this and thinking this way because extending help to someone should be free with no expectations, it's called help for a reason.
  • But I can't help it, I feel salty about it. She's my boss and it would've been more uncomfortable for me to say no to her anyways.
  • How do you say no to someone who's your supervisor, conducts all of your performance evaluations, and has the power to fire you?
  • She has made comments about having to work from home now because she has no transportation and has hinted (but not outright asked) for rides to work, but I'm not taking that bait.
  • Not only can't I afford it monetarily, but I honestly just don't want to give her anymore rides.
  • I shouldn't have to come up with excuses or reasons for saying no. Am I the a le?

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